i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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