its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
