just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
