I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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