don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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