I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
