I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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