yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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