I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Still dying that you shit outside
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
