oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
