Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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