would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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