I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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