would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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