Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
