Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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