Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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