Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
barbara walters just said penis...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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