Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
