you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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