Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
