my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do vagina's smell?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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