ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
