Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
