Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
