It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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