Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize