That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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