things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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