What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
