Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
