I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize