let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
