I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
