No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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