i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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