He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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