Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
