my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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