I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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