so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
do nipples grow back?
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