I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize