Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
