Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
