well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
