I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
What a dumb baby whore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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