Porn is love you can see.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
