I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
