it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
