He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
