: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
People in love make me want to vomit
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
