Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Randomize
