Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
