If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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