you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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