how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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