Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
