So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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