I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
