If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
