Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
