In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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