Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
