This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
