Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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