i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize